25. Coffee

Boy do I love drinking some coffee in the morning. Especially when I can sit peacefully for a time and enjoy it. I like it black, about a 2-1 ratio of water to espresso. Less dilute than a standard americano, but still enough water to give the drink some longevity. I’ve heard it called an Italiano, but that seems pretentious to actually order, and at any rate my favorite times are when I make it at home and get to sit peacefully on the couch in silence for a bit.

It feels warm in the hand, but I’m usually not looking for it to necessarily warm my hands. I’d prefer if the drink stays hotter longer instead of being robbed of its heat. Simply taking a sniff carries bit of the enlivening power.

The first sips are the purest and most delicious, when it’s fresh in the mouth. I like to make sure I get the foam from around the edge of the waterline, almost like apportioning the salt from around the rim of a margarita.

There’s a bit of a zing it leaves on the tongue after taking a sip, as if the caffeine is directly stimulating the nerves on the surface of my tongue. It’s feels slightly sassy in the stomach, black coffee is just like that. But the addiction prevails, my body and mind both want it anyways.

I often find a smile on my face by a few sips in, just enjoying the quickening feeling and sense of peace with myself and my surroundings. The coffee is a reminder of that. The stimulant effect is enough to keep odd fraying thoughts away, helps to keep me present for a moment. It’s always nicer to enjoy the coffee while doing nothing. I find it easier to do nothing when the nothingness is time-bounded. The number of sips in a cup act as a meditation timer.

It feels smooth, like ice skating. Agile, more than fast.

The socially permitted drugs are Alcohol, Caffeine, Tobacco, White Sugar, and Cannabis. Tobacco less and less, and replaced by the more abstract Nicotine. White Sugar morphed to include corn syrup. Maybe we can begrudgingly add Amphetamines to the list. Coffee is definitely a kind of dependency for me. It’s something I want, and I seek out daily. I’ve had time periods where I drink too much coffee such that when I don’t I get headaches. These days I keep it to one, or at most two per day, always in the morning (before 10am). I think it’s a healthy balance.

Sometimes I find myself excited to get to bed so that I can wake up and have my morning coffee.

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